So yes, I have been reading a lot of these lately. Less to
find out what the future holds, or to remind myself what happened this year,
and more to plot a course for the future. If you are like me, you’ve skipped this
whole top section and jumped right to the meat below: the Twitter-like bullet
points which sum up the list in a neat and tidy fashion (is there anything
worse than a “Top" post that doesn’t bold or bullet pointit’s entries?) We’ve got things to do before this year is over, right? We’ve
got to plan how we are going to be more successful, a better person, how we are
going to make the year ahead count, and all before midnight,
right? So without further ado…
5. “Take everything with a grain of salt”
From the list: 9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier (via LinkedIn)
I
really wasn’t that impressed with this list-not only was it rather meandering and
a little first-world for my tastes (“at least once a day try to eat something
really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate,”
and “(t)urn off background TV,”) but it centered around one glaring insinuation-that
we know what makes us happy. Happiness has been a conundrum for me ever since
reading blog posts by Penelope Trunk (an avowed happiness obsesser for a while). Is happiness the point? Is that the meaning of life? That sure would be nice
to know, eh? So often have I have heard others, as well as my own family, hope
for happiness… offhandedly it seemed, and without introspection… that I was
wary of the concept. I had to examine it, “become one” with it, and see if the
whole goal of happiness held water (Cecilia Farran,owner of a spiritual and emotional wellness store here in Wisconsin, made this point even clearer when she had the audacity to tell people: “(d)on’t necessarily believe anything that you think.”) This list seemed to assume that everyone who read it agreed on what happiness
was and that happiness is great (“Happiness is the only true measure of
personal success” is the first line.) Comfort? Contentment? Satisfaction? I
won’t argue that there is some advice I believe in listed here (such as taking
time to plan and prioritize) but I am not sure if it makes one happier.
4. “Making money is the by-product of a clearly defined
purpose.”
From the list:10 Resolutions To Make 2013 Your Best YearEver
This was a well-written list in my opinion. It had some
great, eye-catching entries that had my inner cheering squad chanting “Yeah!
Grab 2013 by the horns! Trash that small stuff!" (Because, as Bukowski said, “we are terrorized… by trivialities…. eaten up by nothing.")
So this one is worth reading through, but the main thing I took away from it,
the main inspiration which I wanted to hold on to, was what he said in #5 about profit. Let’s say happiness is my goal, and let’s say I’m really happy
hanging out at home. Cuddled up in a warm chair, drinking a cup of organic
coffee, maybe taking time to read a book, petting a cat or playing a video
game. Well, sorry, I cannot live on happiness alone. I don’t live in the
warmest place in the world so I need to pay for that house and that heat.
Supporting the organic food movement is important to me, and that coffee costs
money. And that pet? As the owner of a domestic animal, I feel I am responsible
to ensure his health and so yeah, there’s that vet bill. I can’t believe this
is true, but after I turned 30, I realized good things don’t just come to those
who are good people (more on this later.) Freedom is great-it gives you the chance and
the flexibility to try so many different things. But there comes a time when
having the freedom to do any and everything needs to be reigned in. You need
money. And for a while, I wondered if my personal beliefs and principals were
holding me back from monetary success? This phrase put money more in
perspective for me.
3. "The sweet spot of anything you do is at the intersection
of a.) your INTERESTS, b.) your SKILLS, and c.) SOCIETY’S NEED."
From the list: The #1 Career Mistake Capable People Make
Ha ha! A list of one. Gotta love it. And it’s a good one, at
least for contemplation. My dad sent me this on LinkedIn. He and I (and a number
of other people we know or are related to) are Jacks or Jills of all Trades. We
are just so damn curious, finding so many different ways to have fun in this
crazy old world that sometimes… we forget to have a career. Or we purposefully
don’t want one (we hate being pigeon-holed you know). But lo and behold, we get
one anyways. People will put you into a category, whether you like it or not. It's how humans understand the world. It’s like the advice I got on writing a novel; you could be
writing a genre-bending sci fi fantasy mystery, but the bookstore is only going
to put that book on one shelf. The author of this article states that you can
only be one thing first (a sci fic
fantasy mystery, or a mystery sci fi fantasy, for instance.) To find out what that first thing should be, you should look at
what you like to do (your passion or interest-what is fun for you), what you are good at (skills or talents you have developed to make your life meaningful) and what is relevant to society (what the market demands.)
2. Embrace the most positive aspect of a negative
situation-even if it means putting a positive spin on vomiting
From the list: 10 Ways to Live A Happy Chronically Ill Life
Life as a human can suck. I do not have a chronic illness.
But I may one day. Or a loved one of mine may. And there are plenty of good
souls out there, fellow earthlings who right now are faced with this or other
adversity. Though this list hinges on the “happiness” phrase which caused me so
much angst earlier, it’s more of a list of “how to get through the day”- for
anyone, regardless of their situation. Life is hard, but I have never seen anyone
with a more creative take on dealing with this topic than this author, who came
up with a list of “Vacation Places Where I Have Vomited!”
1. "Purely focus on doing something to make you more valuable
to other people"
From the list: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a BetterPerson
I hated this list the
first time I tried to read it. I got lost in his very first example (“soo you
want me to become a doctor?” was my take away at the time.) But strangely, the
idea kept gnawing at me. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I get a kick out
of “hard truths.” It’s sick, but I thrive on challenges, and feel most
accomplished when I bend other’s perceptions (I took up the French horn because
I heard it was the hardest instrument to learn).
Here is a photo of me trying to understand math:
Actually, that was me trying to understand the Monty HallProblem
after a few shots of Irish whiskey. It nearly brought me to tears, but I worked
at it, and eventually (after I let go of the fact that I wasn’t suppose to want the door with the goat behind it), I sort of got it.
So I went back to this article. And after I slogged my way a
little farther through it, I hit a few more mental road blocks. First off, #5
in the list was “The Hippies Were Wrong” (which was what I found out when I
turned 30,) but the author’s use of a ruthless businessman to prove his point was
a major turn off to me. Then the story, “(r)emember when Chick-fil-A came out
against gay marriage? And how despite the protests, the company continues to
sell millions of sandwiches every day? It's not because the country agrees with
them; it's because they do their job of making delicious sandwiches well. And
that's all that matters.” But... but… we vote with our dollars! And I don’t
want to be seen as choosing delicious chicken over what I believe are human
rights!
But the very next line righted my ship. “You don't have to
like it.”
There it is.
I didn’t like it. And my decision, right, wrong, or who
cares, was not to buy a chicken sandwich.
This article went on to inspire me to believe that I could
do more than just not buy a chicken sandwich. People do more every day. Much
like my #3 above, this kernel of knowledge helped me to find focus. It helped
me reconcile my desire to be compassionate and caring towards others, while
reaping more than a cursory “because-it-makes-me-feel-good” reward.
I don’t know exactly what I will be doing in 2013, but I
will do something–because I know in the past I was the person in this article
who said, "(w)hy should I create anything when the things other people
create suck? I would totally have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait
for something good, I don't want to write the next Twilight!" Even
if people choose to critique or criticize whatever I end up doing (and there is a good part near the
end of the article on that), at least I will have something to show.
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