Is the world still here when you die - and what about my passwords?

08:14AM

Tum-te-tum. Here we are again. Back to the unedited ramblings of serial misspeller, wanting to capture fleeting thoughts like a kid collecting candy at a parade, and instead of gorging on the empty calories myself, trying to find a way to share the momentary bit-o-honeys with the masses.

"Not back on it, Joe, still on it." - TMBG

This brief interlude is to present a window into the grey October morning the cover photo was taken, and the newspaper my laptop is resting on. The image replaces the former name of this web blog: "Adventures of a Rural Explorer," as I am reverting back to simply "Belle the Cat". It better reflects what I am trying to do and gives me more mental freedom to explore the varied topics I always have.

And yes, I do love absinthe. 

Don't ask me why I get the newspaper. Everyone should. We also get the "big city" paper, but the paper in question is lovingly referred to as "the local rag" in this household, a fairly new conglomeration of tiny local papers bought up by a slightly larger tiny local paper. Within you will get a mighty lick of local meeting notes, musings, and high school sports updates.

It was the musings that pulled me in today. One, which last week featured the writer's dog, this week sported a photo of a goat that lives on his property. The other one is the Geiger Counter column by local writer and pontificator Matt Geiger. I don't always read his column, but I will never forget the "I tried to buy a monkey when I was 8 years old" one from a few years ago, so I skimmed the current one, called "One form among many..."

Perhaps it was the initial paragraph relating the trials and tribulations of coming up with a new password, only to realize the password I just tried to change to is my current password. Also, with recent Facebook breeches, I've had "reset passwords" on my to do list for a few weeks. But as I read on, imagine my surprise to find that the column was actually about existentialism and the fleetingness of existence?

"There is such peace in that idea - that our individual lives are fleeting, and insignificant," the author relates.

And I connect to that. Who cares if we redo our kitchen, buy a new house, loose everything in the stock market, write a blog post? Our life, the memories and goods we leave behind, the candy-wrappers of our existence are really nothing... really... This is not an excuse to do nothing, to hurt people, or to undermine your beliefs. It is a reset of the mind that honestly probably saves a lot of people from loosing it.

Anyways, you can read it here.  

09:04AM

(Written on Notepad)

On fighting the good fight, film, and onion dogs-10 memorable Dane101.com posts

Before I get to my list, let me just say that my 4 years and 25 weeksas a contributor, editor, and board member of Dane101 has been an exceptional experience. For me, fighting the good fight meant supporting the idea of a collaboratively run media organization. Whether that was writing articles about local video game producers, taking tickets at aBroom Street Session concert, or waking up at 5:00 a.m. to dig through the day’s news for Breakfast Links, I did it to be a productive part of the whole. It was part fun and part frustration; it was part work and part play and a whole lot of learning experience.

I learned the ins and outs of crowdsourcing and shared content. I learned about image attribution and what it meant to be on the receiving end of unsolicited material. I learned about muffin tops. I also learned about paying attention – to details, to politics, and to the voices of our neighbors.

Dane101 was an outlet for an ever changing array of voices on a variety of topics, more than I have ever seen anywhere else. You could read about the local reaction to the death of Michael Jackson while downloading a free Christmas album. You could debate whether or not Brett Favre was going to stay retired while planning your Fire Ball cosplay. The non-sequitur of articles and posts was mind-boggling at times: classical music reviews shared screen space with a series on local sexual health and the adult entertainment businesses. It grew to its most visible point in 2011, with the mashup of protests and Wisconsin Film Fest coverage vying for eyeballs:http://dane101.com/?page=213.

That approach, as opposed to a more focused one, led to the insightful, interesting, and plain zany posts that I’ve included on my list. It may also have contributed to the end of Dane101, because when your focus is every- and anything, it can be a hard sell. Still, if it’s true that the journey is its own destination, this has been one heck of a trip. Thanks to all the people who welcomed me aboard: Jesse, Emily, Shane, Michael, especially, and Christie, Mark, Scott, Adam, Christian, Jason, Kat, Laura, Stacy and all the rest (don’t be strangers, y’all!).

So here they are, my own personal 10 memorable Dane101 posts, in no particular order (except for #1-which, sorry everyone, is my favorite of all time).

10. Title: The Mildly Fascinating Journey of a FedEx Smartpost Package

Date: 4/30/2009

Author: Jesse Russell

Why it is memorable: This was "the little post that could". Once upon a time, Jesse ordered a shirt and tracked its incredible journey. This isn't so much memorable in and of itself, but the post somehow comes up in Google searches a lot and has been one of the top ten hit-getters on Dane101 since it debuted. 

9. Title: Breakfast Links (Blinks)

Date: We aimed for every week day. I started only about a year ago. My day was Tuesday.

Author: Editors and some hearty volunteers

Why it is memorable: When I finally started doing Blinks, there were years of experience behind the daily ritual of combing the local media for interesting items. I was forwarded a list and would painstakingly work through the links, also being careful not to repeat something that had already been listed the day before. But I have to admit, 1. I found this very beneficial both on the days I was doing the combing as well as the days I referred to the Blinks to see a snapshot of what was happening, and 2. my biggest joy was looking up the items to mention in the "on this day" section. (I learned that most of the time it's sports scores and battles.)

8. Title: A mostly comprehensive guide to Wisconsin comment and action in response to Gov. Walker's budget repair bill

Date: 2/14/2011

Why it is memorable: On Valentine's Day 2011, hundreds of Valentines were delivered to the Governor of Wisconsin from the University of Wisconsin teachers, students, faculty and staff. It's a moment early on in the protest movement that I won't forget. Also on this day, Dane101 published a great round up of coverage of the bill.

7. Title: Thoughts on the proposed beer tax from a local brewery

Date: 10/16/2009

Author: Chris Staples

Why it is memorable: Before I got to know him as the proprietor of the S*tty Barn, I read this entry by Chris regarding his ownership of Furthermore Beer. As a craft brew fan, and as a person who loves to see the promotion and success of all things cool from Wisconsin, I was interested to hear the background and arguments surrounding this bill. On 4/28/2010, the tax failed to pass pursuant to Senate Joint Resolution 1.

6. Title: Wisconsin Film Fest

Links:
4/19/10 - WFF2010 Review: "Re-Cut" by Kathleen Kosiec
4/3/2011 - WFF2011 Saturday Review: Documentary Shorts (Legend Lake and Open Season) and Wrestling for Jesus by Adam Schabow
4/30/12 - WiFilmFest 2012 Interview: "The Entertainers co-director Nick Holle by Jeff Kalhagen
4/17/13 - Arts Extract Episode 34: Live Podcast from the Wisconsin Film Festival!

Why it is memorable: OK, I cheated; I could not choose just one link for the WI Film Fest coverage. Every year, Dane101 worked to cover the festival with as much wo/manpower as it could muster, and every year we added something new or changed something up. From live Tweeting, to videos of the Q&As, to interviews before and during the Fest, this was not only one of the most exhilarating times to be a part of Dane101, it was also one of the most fun times to be in Madison, WI.

5. Title: Chad Vader threatens a kitten in a hat

Date: 7/2/2010

Why it is memorable: Honestly, you have to ask? Just go watch it.

4. Title: House on the Rock and Neil Gaiman team up for an "American Gods" themed weekend

Date: 4/5/2010

Author: Emily Mills

Why it is memorable: Not only did this post crash the site after Mr. Gaiman linked to it, but I had a personal hand running the actual event. It was magical.

3. Title: ALRC Rundowns

Link:http://dane101.com/current/2013/02/14/alrc_rundown_feb_13_2013_t_sushi_in_legal_limbo_plan_b_still_noisy_to_some_neighb

Date: Monthly

Why it is memorable: I never knew you could learn so much about a town by reading about their alcohol license problems.

2. Title: Events!

Links: Tron Party 2010 - Fire Ball Photos 2011 - Freakin' Halloweekend 2012 - WYD 2013

Why it is memorable: There are too many to list, so again I had to cheat. What's Your Damage (WYD) brought back everyone's favorite high school horror open mic after an absence of a number of years. From DJ Nick Nice at the Tron Party came one of my favorite Daft Punk mixes ever. The Fire Ball Masquerade was / is / continues to be the most outstanding dance-y, costume-y, late night dress up party around, and Halloweekend brought the world this amazing photo:

Photo by Janet Campbell

1. Title: Behold, the creation of the Onion Dog!

Date: 12/21/2009

Author: Adam Schabow

Why it is memorable: I don't know why this 13 minute video sticks out so keenly in my memory. I had only been back in the Madison area for a short time, had just bought a house, just got married, and was settling in to do some real writing, and then this was posted, in all its unsettling glory. Actually, I think it was one of the comments, calling out the motley crew and questioning their motives that got me, and the subsequent posting of even more ridiculousness to the thread. Long live Onion Dog.

Writing prompts on my "Dream Thief" blog

In 2012, I didn't devote too much time to creative writing, although I love it. In order to get a little creative push each week, I wrote down at least one creative writing prompt. It might have been a character, a title, etc. Some of the ideas were good, some had been floating around for a while, some I used and others are probably crappy.

I've decided to post these once per week throughout 2013 to my writing blog. Feel free to write a story, use them to inspire your own list, or even just read them and ponder a plot!

A Zine-y Sort of Entry

"It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"Don't be intimidated by other people's opinions. Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risks and do what you really want to do. Seek out people who aren't afraid of making mistakes and, therefore, do make mistakes. Because of that, their work often isn't recognized, but they are precisely... the kind of people who change the world." - Paulo Coelho, "The Aleph"

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature." - Abraham Lincoln

"I have always been on the side of the revolution, on the side of the people struggling to break the chains that oppress them. I support wars of liberation... I am part of a generation that exploded six years ago and my creative energy is part of that explosion." - Ita Jones, "The Grub Bag" 1971

---

"Progressive - one believing in moderate political change and especially social improvement by governmental action" - Merriam Webster


"Progressivism in the United States: ... Progressives such as William U'Ren and Robert La Follette argued that the average citizen should have more control over his government. The Oregon System of "Initiative, Referendum, and Recall" was exported to many states, including Idaho, Washington, and Wisconsin.^[5]
Progressives also fought for women's suffrage^[8] 

Corruption represented a source of waste and inefficiency in government. William U'Ren in Oregon, and LaFolette in Wisconsin, and others worked to clean up state and local governments by passing laws to weaken the power of machine politicians and political bosses. The Oregon System, which included a "Corrupt Practices Act", a public referendum, and a state-funded voter's pamphlet among other reforms was exported to other states in the northwest and Midwest.

In 1924, Wisconsin Senator Robert La Follette ran for president on the "Progressive party" ticket. La Follette won the support of labor unions, Germans and Socialists by crusading against both oligarchy—rule by a tiny elite—and plutocracy (government of, by, and for the wealthy). He carried Wisconsin.<sup>[48]  "
- Wikipedia entry</sup>

Wisconsin's biggest wind farm goes online - 2011
Montfort Windfarm - online since 2001

The Cornucopia Institute P.O. Box 126 Cornucopia, Wisconsin 54827 

Organic Valley Family of Farms, CROPP Cooperative, One Organic Way , La Farge, WI 54639

midwest renewable energy association | 7558 deer road | custer, wi 54423 | p - 715-592-6595 | f - 715-592-6596 | info@midwestrenew.org

... yes those are My Little Pony-goats.

"Nothing focuses the mind like a noose."

--- once upon a time, as all good stories start,

Duncan was never at odds with whatever It was that lived in the surrounding countryside. It was a presence, like a store clerk watching for would-be shoplifters, like the shy student boring a hole in the back of her crush's skull, like the sneaky ocean waves waiting 'till the bather's back is turned to suck her under. The Thing, or Things, made themselves known subtly, by causing minor havoc on the road leading to the Resort where Duncan resided. Deer crossed at one specific place, just past Raccoon Rock Road, but before the turn that lead to the old cemetery, and they usually did so spontaneously, and in groups that numbered one more than a driver had counted on. It, whatever "It" was, also made spectacular, sun dappled, filtery columns of light stream through the tunnel of trees that led to the Resort, which were breath-stealingly beautiful and had cause more than one car to detour into the ditch. 

Usually though, the harm done was not fatal. Duncan chalked that up to the sacrifices the Thing called for on a fairly regular basis. Ever since people left off putting milk out for the piskies, it was up to people like Duncan, who referred to the Thing as "fairies," to find out what those devious, devilish, ghostly other-worlders wanted. The fairies that guarded the path out to the Resort had a fondness for bananas, and peanuts: blood, incense, effort, and attention.... rapt, concentrated attention.

Duncan actually liked knowing about the fairies, feeling special in their peripheral vision (which truly is the only safe place for mortals to be). That was, until the day the fairies became uneasy. Frightened? Angry? Maybe even a hint of evil. Things like that made a person, a guardian, one of those sensitive types who is in tune with such things, as Duncan was, ever so slightly terrified. Like a rider on horseback who spies a brown snake before his mount has perceived it. Maybe it will pass. Maybe the horse will quake or rear, but be brought under control. Or maybe the horse will revert from the docile domestic beast of burden, so carefully trained, into a wild, untamed, eye rolling and uncontrollable maniac.

Duncan wasn't sure she'd know what to do with manic fairies. She was pretty sure peanuts wouldn't cut it though. 

Gathering of American Gods Costume Party

I did the above sketch after the weekend. I am not saying it is any good (click for large view) but I just had to do it.

















My day Saturday started early, transporting Golden Tickets which would be given as souvenirs to each of the people who would win rides on the carousel by the end of the day. They had been signed by Neil and were also signed by Sue, the President of House on the Rock. I admit, I felt pretty special.
















Much of my day was spent at the Scavanger Hunt table. At first we didn't know what to expect as far as people participating in and completing the hunt. There seemed to be a lot of people interested, and someone posted on Facebook Friday night that they were stumped by some of the clues. I had one participant stop by early on Saturday to ask about the final clue, and felt bad I couldn't tell her much. I wondered if I should have given more hints - what if no one completed it??

I need not have been worried. Our first completed hunts started coming in at Noon. They had worked all night and planned out the lay of the land to find the best route to get all of their stamps. All in all we think 1/3 of the attendees completed the hunt, with about 200 being turned in fully completed. And - the girl who stopped by first thing to ask the questions? She was one of the winners (even without my help)!

















Neil was about. Here he is talking with Dawn of the Spring Green Chamber of Commerce about the raffle.

















The real party got started Saturday night, of course, as school buses began vomiting up costumed characters to participate in the contest. The Welcome Center soon filled with gods of all shapes and sizes.

















After grabbing a drink, many headed over to the tent, where the contest was taking place. The line of participants snaked off into the twilit night.















And on into the tent itself. Here you can see a "Mr. Wednesday" front and center. I thought he'd be shorter.















Some of the assorted crowd. There were about 200 people who entered the contest, but a lot of people were there just to gawk.
































Trooper that Neil is, he had each participant parade before him and tell who they were. Then he called a list of finalists forward. Finally, he had to decide on his 8 winners. Which he fudged and called 9 :-) I feel for him - it had to be one of the hardest calls.















And I WISH I had a list of the winners. I know, above, Morgana (who had an amazing leather mask and hand sewed feather cape), the Nameless God, Dr. Horrible, Anansi (dancing in front of the line - holding 2 tigers balls), and the Ms. Liberty on stilts all won.























White Buffalo Woman and the Nameless God.






















Cthulhu drinking a Spotted Cow.























Possibly the only Shadow I saw, tied to the World Tree.






















Bast.























I loved these two - these were the guys I had such a problem finding in my registration database! They dressed as the 'Bog brothers - Czernobog and Bielebog.


Then, it was on to the Carousel!


















The winners of the scavenger hunt were already there, the winners of the raffle soon to follow.

















The House on the Rock staff were there to assist people with boarding and disembarking. There were certain animals that could be ridden. The carousel was never made to be ridden (it only stops and starts once a day), and so a lot of prep was given to making sure it would survive the number of rides we wanted to give. The luck of the gods, and perhaps the spirit of Alex Jordan, were all there that night.
























The crowd watching the rides.























Other events included food, bands, tarot card readers and magicians.
















Little Red Wolf from Madison drew a crowd in the Organ Room.






































Finally, just because I wanted to, I've saved my favorite moment of the night for last. I was in charge of collecting about 1/2 of the raffle winners and had the chance to talk with them before escorting them to the crazy loud and crowded carousel room (that's actually when I took most of the stand alone costume pics above). The guy below had just gotten married and was on his honeymoon. I got a short little video of him just as he rides past his wife and blows her a kiss (she's video taping him.) Ah me.






















On my drive home at nigh about 2am, I spied the last quarter harvest moon rising. Good night!

How do people write?

I wonder some times how people write. What is their setup, their schedule? I am thinking right now of a friend blogger who always seems to find time to put together well thought out, finely edited, timely and topical posts. I am also thinking of professional writers who find time to blog, as well as fly off to do signings, panel appearances and the like.


I'm working to fit blogging back into my schedule, while also writing articles and the occasional fiction fun (oh and working on the house, planning my next move, and working at my rather eccentric day job).

I'm also reading-right now, an issue of Time Magazine from October 2009 all about Detroit. Which to me is very topical since I just returned from there. Time was, back those nine months ago, embarking on a year long investigation of the Motor City's decline, and attempted rebound. I'm still reading the article, but one notion that popped out at me was that, whatever happens to Detroit, once the 4th largest city in the country, will say a lot about how the United States will move forward. I'm hoping for the best, but silent crisis are hard to fix.

My trip to Detroit was to help my uncle who is moving to Texas soon. Given the chance, he would love to remain in his small bungalow off of Telegraph Road (his plan was to putter around his retirement fixing it up), but cancer has changed all that and he is moving to be closer to family. The neighborhood around him is strong, the neighbors very caring-I wish them the best. As I do my Uncle Ron.

Poem

10/27/2008

"Goodbye for now, my little piece of heaven.
Colorful trees, hazy waters,
the aging fields. The clouded dreams.
I will return for you soon."

Sarah the Romance Hack!

I joined Gather.com a while back, mainly to comment on a story I heard on NPRs "The Splendid Table" (they totally threw me for a loop when they said that mushrooms don't have to be brushed or pealed and can very easily be washed when all my life I have been taught not to wash fresh mushrooms! Blew my mind!). I then found a Gather group called Creative Genre Challenges which picks a genre each month and people have to write a short story about it. For instance, November was a "Western Thanksgiving" and December was "Love's First Kiss."

Well, I entered a silly little story I've been working on for a while for the December contest and I won! There were about 11 entries and the reviews can be read here: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977550395&grpId=3659174697248803&nav=Groupspace

First, second and third place should be published by Second Wind Publishing in a Valentine's Day Anthology called "Love is in the Wind."

You should all VOTE for the cover here as the people who help choose the cover will be entered in a drawing to win a free copy.

The bad news is, I have been offline since New Year's taking a break since both my cats decided to get sick and start puking and pooping up a storm. I took them to the vet 2X and, after numerous tests and many $$, we have decided they had a coccidia outbreak and are now on meds. They are sleeping and finally seeming to keep down food. Sigh. Still, since I didn't get on line in time to realize I had won, I did not get the chance to choose the theme for January's writing Genre contest. I would have chosen "This World to Other World Fantasy" where someone goes from this world to a fantasy world a 'la Wendy from Peter Pan or Dorthy in the Wizard of OZ. Oh well. Just goes to show you that you should never assume you're not gonna win something. Even if you have never written a romance before and think it's kinda lame

Waiting for Delay

I am glad that I enjoy planning, and I’m glad I got an early start planning for this trip, and I’m glad I’ve put myself in the right frame of mind to fly through 8 states, landing in 5 of them over a 10 day period.

At least, I think I’m in the right frame of mind.

Packing is like a game to me – especially when I am trying to stuff 10 days and two visits worth of clothing and presents (and an anime-convention's worth of costumes) into two carry-on bags. Planning it all out helps me start enjoying my trip before I even take it. It also makes it easier not to over-pack. That, and remembering advice given to me by my traveling-musician Grandma (who, along with her sisters, was in an all-girl band in the 40s) of rolling all clothing into little sweetroll-sized packets. You can pack more and the clothes don’t get as wrinkled.

As I’m doing all this thinking about what boots to wear on the plane, how many pairs of pants to pack, and whether I need to put my contact lenses into the baggie with all my travel-sized toiletries, a tiger escapes from the San Francisco Zoo and kills a teenager. As I’m looking at the weather forecast (it just finished snowing in Chicago and so hopefully all flights will be back on schedule before I get into the area tomorrow), my brain is tossing the endless coin back and forth regarding fault and blame, wild versus captive, endangered and extinct, over and over in my mind. As I check in online for my first flight (Portland to Minneapolis to Milwaukee), I am trying to reconcile my love of zoos and the people that work there and the animals that live there, with their purpose, their duty and their downfalls.

Something makes me really get a lump in my throat when I hear that there are estimated to be only 40 surviving wild Persian leopards in Russia. Something makes me watch those animal cop shows, where people go in and rescue animals being horded or abused or neglected. And even when the animals don’t survive, I feel pride towards people that work in such heart-wrenching occupations. I wonder if I could. I wonder if I should.

There is still a 120 minute delay in Chicago. I’m not there, but I dream about the delay. Enough time to work on my story, scribbling out new thoughts in my steno pad. Since I’m traveling with just carry-on, I don’t have to worry about my luggage getting lost. I’ll be wearing my big black Druid coat which easily doubles as a woolen blanket. I could find a corner in the airport restaurant to catch a meal and a drink, and plan out the hors d’ouvers I want to make for our little New Years Eve get-together when I reach home. Or I could set up a nest on a little section of concourse floor and read my new manga (Loveless 7), or play Crystalis on my Gameboy. CNN reports that a dead Bengal tiger has been found shot 5 times by the side of the road in Texas. It was probably someone’s pet. Or I could keep thinking about tigers.

Recap of Willamette Writer’s Conference 2007

[Back story]

First off, when I moved to Organ, I looked up the local writer’s group. This stemmed from the fact that I had done that a few years too late right before I left Ohio. The only Ohio writers meeting I went to was a discussion of “Bird by bird,” a book on writing that a lot of people had read. The moderator was completely taken over by the crazy published author in the room who spent the whole time trying to “blow our minds” with his offhand comments and observations. The other lady in the room just wanted to talk about the book she was writing and I; I was just geeked up to be among people who agreed that everyone has an idea for a story – it’s the putting it down on paper that’s the hard part.

But I digress…

The 38^th Annual Willamette Writer’s Conference was held Aug 3-5 this year. I registered for just one day at the second tier of pricing (not the most expensive and not the least) and it was $225. I do think it was a good investment.

Things started off with me picking up my badge on Thursday. Little did I realize some of the best stuff was offered for free this night! I had looked through the nice brochure they had made and picked out three editors / agents to pitch stories to. That is one of the main purposes of this conference – to learn about and practice your pitching. I had chose to pitch in a group setting and wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I just knew I wasn’t sure enough of myself or my stories to be locked in a room for 10 minutes and asked to sell my book to some stranger from the industry!

I had looked up a few resources online to find out what pitching was and how to do it. Mostly you break your story down into tiny parts and expand. Start with explaining your story in two sentences. Note the genre, main character, world, goal and flaw. Then mention he hook. It’s okay to say “its ____ meets ___” – “its Gladiator set on Mars.” Don’t say you’re the next Harry Potter, but you can compare your character to him. The next step is to expand and tell the “trailer” – 5 minutes as if you were telling your friend about a great story.

Back to Thursday night – so, I got my badge. On he back they write who your pitches are with and when. You just hope that they are opposite from the sessions you want to attend (sessions being panels put on by authors – I attended one about Fantasy After Harry Potter and another on Breaking Into the Children’s Magazine Market.) Then, there was an “authors fair” – where all the panelists and guests sit in the room wanting to sell their books and awkwardly make small-talk until you ask them to sign the sheet you have in your hand that you turn in at the end to try to win a laptop. That was probably the most cumbersome part of the whole experience, but it did force me to talk to people, and I meet a lady very early on who gave me some good tips on how to learn to speak your pitch (she asked me if I was a writer, I said yes, she asked me what I was pitching and after I stumbled my way through an explanations, she told me I should get it down to 2 sentences.)

Then I went into the “Pitch to the Pros” session. The room was packed and three editors and agents sat on a stage at the front. People would throw them pitches and they would rip them apart. It was great! They gave tips like “why should I care?” “why are you the right person to write this?” (in other words, stuff you would put in a press release.) “Convince me your story is one people will spend money on.” “I want to feel your passion and love for your story.”

One poor sop got up and started with “My story doesn’t have a genre.” And the pros shot back, “is it fiction, non-fiction, comic, drama?” You have a genre – you have to tell the people where to put it in the bookstore! They are not making a new shelf just for your book!

There were two really good pitches (out of 25+!) One was “It’s’Left Behind’ in reverse. The Rapture happens, but it’s all a government creation.” Another lady who was a rocket scientist and engineer told about her lady detective who has to solve a computer crime that will cause all cars with antilock-breaks to crash if she doesn’t figure it out.

The rest of the conference was good. The Life After Harry Potter panel was okay – just fun to be among other children’s fantasy writers. Also, a point was made that because of HP, not people understand what young adult books are. The magazine panel was good too – told me most of what I already knew which was it’s a lot of damn work for not a lot of money.

The pitchings were interesting (my new favorite word, by the way. As descriptive as “unique”.) The first was with the fantasy editor from TOR. I pitched my Ambrosia story -and she sounded interested (in my two-sentence explanation which went something like “Fifteen-year-old Emma wants nothing more than to escape reality for many of the same reasons other lonely, awkward teenagers do. When one night she confronts a demon in a cow pasture and ends up riding a giant dog up a beam of moonlight, she finds she is completely and utterly unprepared for her trip to the other side of the rainbow. Emma possesses an oracle sacred to the people of Ambrosia, and must find who is stealing magic from the land. When she finally finds the thief, she is horrified to find she actually sides with the villain.” The editor said that she would point me towards the YA editor if I wanted to send something.

Mermaid Money was pitched to the Andrea Brown Agency, to Ms. Brown herself. I was told to remove all poetry and cut it down to around 1000 words (1,300 words is too long for a traditional picture book.) Also, word to the wise, no agent or editor buys illustrated books,. They buy manuscripts and hire an illustrator. The book I have is already illustrated so my best option is a small press (which doesn’t usually do picture books since they are too expensive) or self publishing. My pitch went something like, “Pippin Peck, the young heroine of Mermaid Money, uses a little pluck and a lot of luck to escape a seemingly endless series of life threatening events. After fleeing a ghost and stowing away aboard a pirate ship, Pippin finds herself about to be turned into a jellyfish unless she can convince a merman of her worth.”

Finally, I realized that there is a huge call for “chick lit” – fun quick reads that are usually romantic and mystery oriented. I have the idea for a series of books about a lady zoo detective which just might get to see the light of day.

Goat Stuffs

Recap of Goat Day

8/25/2007

Goat Day was held in Wilsonville OR (the town I work in) on August 25th. Every year, Metro, the park system, brings in around 400 goats of various types to eat invasive plants. This year they decided to let people come and watch! They chose a semi-wetland area (kinda squishy ground) that had lots of overgrown English ivy and blackberries, fenced it in, and let the goats out. Here are some photos:


Donnie finds the goats.


The goats spy us.


Ooooh. Sneaky goat!

My Christmas Vacation - a Sheep Story
By GoatMaiden
1/10/2007

When I went to Wisconsin for Christmas, I got to tour a sheep farm. It was fun. It was very cold but there was no snow. My aunt Jean and I met Brenda and she showed us around. I don't think Brenda likes sheep. She likes sheep cheese though. And I think she likes the money she makes from sheep cheese - it is $23 / lb. We stood in the cheese cellar. It was neat.

So that was my trip to the sheep farm. I was dissapointed that I dind't get to pet a sheep.

tha end.

Stardust

Before I went to see Stardust the movie, I had read the illustrated book by Neil Gaiman. I didn't really care about the characters all that much (the main character was too much of a doofus, and the star was too bitchy), but I will admit to liking the story and some of the magical twists - such as the main character finding his way out of a forest by flying from one spot of light to the next using a magic candle.. It was somewhat convoluted, but not a total waste of time.

The movie struck me in almost the exact same way. It was fun, but it wasn't great, and I didn't expect it to be. I had read one newspaper review before going to see the film and the reviewer had been strangely perplexed by the film. He thought it was weird that a star was a woman, that a witch rode in a cart pulled by goats, etc. Why he thought a goat chariot was strange I'm not sure (because, they aren't horses??) but after I saw the film, I read a lot more reviews and realized that a lot of other people had similarly strange critiques: bad special effects, convoluted characters (most were turned off by Robert DeNiro's mincy pirate) and a bad score (??).

I can only think many of the reviewers were not fantasy fans, or that they were looking for the next "Lord of the Rings." It was a fine movie. I guess I give a lot of slack to fantasy films as far as special effects go - so the green smoke coming out of the witches finger looks like ectoplasm slime from Ghostbusters - so what? You get the point that it's magic. I will say that there ere were far too many sweeping "look at what we can do now that we are not tied to cranes and dollies to move the camera" shots - where a CGI view starts in space and ends up focused on a tiny spot on Earth. I remember in college learning about tracking shots and how Hitchcock was a master of the long take, but this is getting a bit ridiculous. I didn't find anything not to like about the score (I don't remember anything except the cheese ball song at the end credits), and I thought the pirates were a good addition, as was the fast-talking trader (some critics called DeNiro a "scenery muncher" and criticized the trader, played by comic Ricky Gervais, as "putting on his own show".)

If anything, I would say Clair Danes was sort of a drippy star, and the way her hair glowed at certain parts was sort of annoying. I would also say that I didn't find this movie any more gruesome than the one most critics have been comparing it to, The Princess Bride, which I watched as a kid, and so I'm not sure why Stardust is continually referred to as a "Fairy Tale for ADULTS." One critic explained that moments of violence (the death of a number of princes) were immediately quashed by a moment of humor (the prince's ghosts remain in the scene after dying.) Well I really enjoyed those parts - what's wrong with laughing at a bathtub death scene?

The things that got to me were continuity (sometimes the witch looked old sometimes not, then oh look she's young again, oh look, she used magic but it didn't make her old... When you create a rule of magic, it must be consistent.) And --- the love story. I didn't buy it. I understood it, but I didn't believe it. But still, I didn't buy it in the book either.

Stardust gets 3 stars in my book. Which is three stars more than Mirror Mask :-P

Mirrormask - a trite idea badly executed

The movie Mirrormask is a rather flashy but overall pretty lame attempt at storytelling. The main character, a girl named Helena, is unsympathetic as a circus girl who is sick of her circus life. First off, if you are going to switcher-o a stereotype like that, I ask that there be more of a reason she doesn't like the circus, beyond just general teenage angst. The plot ploy of "sick mother / guilty child" is executed in a very confusing way (I would have found it more interesting if Helena really had done something to her mother), and the ending seemed like a hurried attempt to bring closure to a rambling narrative (spoiler: it was all a dream!).

Helena is never quite sure of her quest, which, while realistic, makes for an uneven movie. Though I struggle with these very same problems in my own writing, it also makes me more sensitive to them in other people's works. She stumbles into another world and onto a slightly-creepy (but slightly more annoying) dualistic helper / hinderer named Valentine. The lack of a clear path makes it hard for there to be any "ah ha!" moments of realization. To me, there ended up being more "so what?" moments. The world itself was hard for me to get to know and care about, as were the characters in that world, so why should I care that the main character (who I also don't have that much emotional tie to since she is pretty whiny and flighty) decided to help the people? At one point there is a connection between Helena and Valentine, that was supposed to be a big deal (friendship breaking an evil spell) but I was like, why are these two friends? Eventually, after a convoluted series of hints and puzzles, Helena gets back to the real world, and I guess, saves her mother and the fantasy world.

I know I was slightly biased in watching this movie, since it was compared to "The Labyrinth" - which also had contrived plot twists and a bitchy MC (and David Bowie, but that's beside the point). But the story of the Labyrinth had a goal - get the child. I found Mirrormask, with the threat of encroaching shadows, to be much more akin to "The Neverending Story" and it's creeping "Nothing" - but again, that shouldn't really color one towards a movie. As has been pointed out to me, all movies need to be taken in their own right and not compared to one another. But I can look at The Neverending Story and see the characters of Atreyu crying out as his horse gets sucked down into the swamp and feel a real connection to him. I can see a real threat as the possibility of failure is ever-present, whereas peril seemed to be missing, or watered down, in Mirrormask.

Finally, I must also admit that I watched the extras on the DVD which also probably effected my opinion. They stated quite clearly that the studio wanted a movie that would sell like Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. Which leads me to believe that Mirrormask was rushed (further research shows that it may have been written in about 3 days) and too crammed with "fan service" elements (like those disturbing cats with human faces and characters I am sure they hoped would make collectable figurines) to be taken seriously. It is a pretty movie, but the characters and story get in the way of that.

HARRY POTTER SPOILER --- WARNING!!! ---- DO NOT READ IF YOU CARE ABOUT THE SANCTITY OF THE CHOSEN BOY-WIZARD AND HIS SCHOOL OF HOGS AND WARTS!

This is your final warning. DO NOT READ if you care about HARRY POTTER - you have been warned.
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And I am not ordered by the Pope to do this, BTW.
The book is out now so I don't think God cares anymore.

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Snape (which sounds like snake and in the movies is played by Ian Fleming or someone, but he was also in Robin Hood as the sheriff and he is really the most fun to watch - hardly annoying at all) turns good. Remember when he protected the kids from Lupin who was a wearwolf and lupine means wolf so isn't that cool and clever? He was under orders from Dumbledore (which is such a cute name cuz it sounds like "stumbling" and "dumb" and "dwarf" which is soooo English but he was a really nice old guy who died and it was really sad but everyone loved him).

Some people think Snape was just saving Harry (also a funny name - v. English, like naming a pudding Spotted Dick - ha ha ha!) so that Voldemort (who is the really bad guy and people can't say his name so they just call him He-who-cannot-be-named which I think is sooo cool!) could use Harry (ha ha! Just thinking of some harry things - what a funny name!) to revive at the end of Goblet of Fire. But even if Snape was on the Death Eaters' side (another name for He-who-cannot-be-named - also cool!), he didn't know since Voldemort started planning his revival at the beginning of Goblet of Fire, and the only person he told was Peter Pettigrew (aka wormtail).

Okay, so then there's Malfoy who is really cute in the movies. He is a kid at the Wizard School which is called Hogwarts which is a very English name - did you know that there are places in England called Happy Bottom, Horsey Windpump and Tumby Woodside? Any way, the big news is not who dies ('cuz really, who cares. We know people in stories can always come back to life) because in the last moment J.K. Rawling says that THERE WILL BE ANOTHER BOOK!

"HARRY POTTER AND THE LEAKY CAULDRON"

Note:
I hate Harry Potter.

Granted, I am very jealous of the author for being so popular and rich. She is a pretty good writer, and there are some interesting plot twists, but I cannot stand any of the characters or the way they are treated. Harry is a big whiny milksop of a boy who doesn't deserve anything because all he does is whine and duck and hide and "screw up his courage" only no fail so that he can whine some more. His friends are stereotypical sidekicks. The villains are trite. The clever bits are few and far between, and the "between" is annoying and tedious and so freaking long!

My mom pointed out to me that she was surprised that kids in the US would accept the way people are treated in the books since it is so "English boarding school" - i.e. very different from US public schools (which in a way plays into the "no talking back / fighting back / standing up for yourself" stuff that I find so annoying.)

I told a friend that I usually hate things that are super popular (Seinfeld, Friends, Survivor, American Idol) and probably hate Harry Potter because no one else does. He said, "yeah, but all those Christian right-wingers hate him since they think Harry will turn kids into Pagans." I responded, "no, I'm talking about real people. Those people don't count as their arguments are not based on anything I care to consider as meaningful."

I can think of one thing right off though that breaks my hate-everything-popular rule, and that's Naruto, but it has become so popular that now to actually like it is un-cool (at least in anime subculture). Never fear - the commander in Chief is here - and he has a red line to... Mr. T!

Goatmaiden of Honor!

Getting ready for my sister's wedding is like planning a convention for 200 people flying, driving or motorcycling in from about 25 different states, all arriving at different times, staying at different hotels or crashing at different relitive's houses. The bridesmaids themselves live in three different states, including me, the Maid of Honor. It is not an insurmountable task to be on the executive staff of a Wisconsin wedding working remotely from Oregon, but it has been interesting!

For those of you who know me, for the last two years, the words "sister's wedding" have come up with increasing frequency, leading up to today, when they pretty much compose 75% of my daily conversation. Yes, I am almost ready to turn the reigns over to the patron saint of weddings and just jump on the old bridal train. But first, a little trip back.

Norah and Brian met when they were teenagers. When they met, I would have been 20 (in about 1996), struggling throgh my first year as a theater major at Viterbo College (now university) in La Crosse Wi. I was living at home, comutting to school, not sure what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do (I certainly didn't want to do theater, and so some may ask why the hell I went to school as a theater major to which I say... stay tuned for a different blog on that!)

After a bunch of love and sweetness (and of course some trying times!), Brian proposed (after asking my Dad's permission! Awe!) on Norah's birthday (May 7th) in 2005. Yep. Two years and two months prior to their wedding date of 07/07/07.

Since then, I have written an almost-monthly newsletter called "The Aisle Report" for the year leading up to the wedding, I wrote a Bridesmaid-only eddition called "The Veil Trail," and have planned and helped in the planing of 2 bachelorette parties. The first is being held the night after I arrive and includes a local bar-hopping tour, some fancy cocktails, and a present sent to me by my Florida sister/bridesmaid which I can't talk about here but will be awesome. The second is aboard the Island Girl, a Mississippi River yacht cruise! I am also working on a top-secret graphics project, in part tied into the wedding, so I can't go into that until afterwards, but I think I am finally all set with that too.

So it looks like the 10 day forecast is in the range of the 80s and 90s with a pretty low chance of precipitation. I am all packed, still have a short list of stuff to take care of (most of which will happen tonight). I've managed to keep my baggage to 2 checked (one is one of those small rolly things) and a purse and backpack. I told my fam that I will be livin' gypsy and traveling from one house (parent's, aunt's) back and forth (usually hitching a ride w/ relitives since I will be carless) to the Bride-to-be's shack. I am really looking forward to it!

WEDDING STUFS!
Current mood: excited

Day one 6/29/2007
"The start of something big"

Our Visit w/ KH!

So our first stop on our merry journey to Wedding-land was Pizza-and-Beer LayoverLand! The Duck and I landed in Minneapolis / St. Paul, Minnesota right around 5:30 p.m. and our great friend Kristinah (I really think you should go back to adding that "H" on the end!) -- who had just quit the job that she hated (yaaa!) -- picked us up and we promptly distracted her enough to get her lost. Whoops.

We ended up at one of the Minneapolis Pizza Luce locations where we had good beer, great artichoke dip and awesome pizza! There was also a loud dog tied to a tree.


Us on a bench outside.


But of course the high point of the night was when we found out that we still had a lot of time before our connecting flight (which was sched. for 10 p.m. or something) and so we took a walk. We just happened to pass the very first White Castle Hamburger restaurant ever opened (c. 1921). And it is now filled with...
ACCORDIANS!



It is a very mysterious world.

When DMV and I got to LSE (La Crosse, Wisconsin airport code) at around 11 p.m. (after trying for most of the flight to write my Maid of Honor speech) we met Norah.

"Good timing," she said.
Why, I asked?
"I'll tell you later."
Turns out they had just gotten rid of the vacuum cleaner salesman!

Day 2 6/30/2007
"Crazy Wild Girl Fun"

Norah got her hair styled today to test it out before the big day. She also had a "practice veil" that my mom made which she is planning on wearing to the bachelorette party tonight:


I told Norah after her bachelorette girls night out that I think this took care of my bachelorette party as well.

She said, " now I feel I can get married."


We started out with drinks at Norah's - here she is with her
personal attendant Tif and "The Pick of Destiny."

Early on we look so sober!

Not for long!

There were other brides out on bachelorett parties that weekend - and
there was almost a rumble! Just kidding. Norah could take her.



The Mustang. 'Nuf said!(I have no clue who was driving)


Nor, Tif's cousin, Tif's friend (who was shipping out to Afghanistan) and Tif.

I love this picture! You're such a cute drunk!

I am not.

Day 3 7/1/2007
"Off to the Homestead"


Woke up to Diesel the beagle chewing pine sap out of his toes. If that sounds unpleasant, it is even more so when you have a hangover.

Driving out to "the Homestead," my parent's place on 2 acres in Nodine, MN, I passed two Kodak Moments of rural Americana. The first was a John Deer tractor flying the stars and stripes:


And the second was this rock announcing "Moldy Acres":

There's a saying in Nodine that "you can't fall down without you hit a Moldenhauer" since there are so many people with that last name.

Out at my parent's house, we met with Larry, my dad's friend and the MC of the reception, who - after being briefed -

5:55 p.m. - be seated
6 p.m. - intro self, band
speeches
toast
prayer
- your table will be excused
Serve 6:15
After dinner,
couples dance
father / daughter dance
Bouquet toss / Garter = first band break?

...said he'd "wing it". He has traveled the world, released a cd of stories and drives a convertible Geo Metro. He also gives historical tours of cemeteries (or at least knows people who do).

Larry, Mom, Nor, Bri, Dad, Gizmo

Norah and Brian arrived via Softail. The photo I took of that unfortunately did not turn out.

Day 4 7/2/2007
"Heading to the horse farm"

I started out the day at the parent's house. I cleaned their bathroom just to be nice (2nd one in as many days. I cleaned Norah's too). My little sister Lucy comes in today but I won't be able to meet her since I will be at my aunt Jean's: http://www.brightenridge.com/

The beer labels I created for Tony (the farmer / brewer / beekeeper / boyfriend of my aunt) turned out really good (see them here:

Neck Label
Shire Power Porter (the inspirational "Mr. January" image can be seen here.)
Curly Brew (featuring an illustration based on my aunt wearing her "scare the Amish" sunglasses!) and, in honor of the wedding, the award-winning
Honey, I Do! Brew (commemorating Brian proposing to Norah on a bridge about two and a half years ago!)

Tony took me around to show me the horses. Here's a pic of Diva and Walker -

Tony drove a tractor as a huge spike on the front to carry hay. Would make a great weapon in a horror movie:



Day 5 7/3/2007
"I think I actually relaxed today"

Woke up, had fresh blueberries in soy milk with Amish pumpkin bread and honey and green tea to drink. Cleaned the bathroom and took a bath. Read about raising goats by the full moon.

When Jean took me into town, we stopped by Boarders and had an iced mocha (saddly not mint) and then went to get our nails done.




Day 6 7/4/2007
"Fourth of July!"

Great night's sleep at the parent's, except for the dream that I didn't get the info to the Island Girl (2nd "all ages" bachelorette party we're planning - on the river a yacht) and a bunch of Iranian guys filled it up.

Met our cousin's Laura, Rachel and Amanda after a morning of



program making



and lotto ticket rolling (reception party favors). We played hide and seek and then went for a walk. Petted a bunch of cats including Vinnie who is like 180 years old in people years:

Then we went to Riverfest to eat cheese curds and watch fire works.

Aunt Connie and Mom

Lucy and I.

The cousins.


Got rained on. Aunt Linda and Uncle Ron rolled in at 11 p.m and wanted to come down to Riverfest. Nor and Brian left, as did I and Connie and the kids. Which left Lucy, Dad and pissed off, grumpy, antisocial sleepy Mom.

Still have to write my f***ing Maid of Honor speech.

Day 7 7/5/2007
"Today. Ah. Roses came."

I delivered all the hotel gift bags today.Picked up 240 cloth napkins to fold. Snipped the stems off of nearly 600 roses.

Ah the roses. Norah ordered them online. Called FEdEx last night since the shipment was two days late (was due 7/3). They said it was in Memphis. Then this morning I called and was told we could pick them up at 9:15 a.m. So we did. They have been without water in a fridge so they have to soak for 5 hours in buckets. We have to create 5 bouquet's and 18 centerpieces.

Everyone helped!

Even Uncle Ron!

Before / After!

I went back to the Island Girl after I forgot to bring all the decorations. Then I had to drive out of the city to pick up the programs (we had them monogrammed), then back to pick up Nor then Connie had to pick up Amanda who brought Norah's "party veil." Believe it or not, we all met at the Island Girl (no Iranians in sight!) and had a great time!

These three again?

Everyone having fun!

oooh! Undies!


Cousin Amanda, Me, Auntie Jean and Cousin Laura


Friend Rebecca, Me, Nor, Sister Lu, and Friend Jessie (sister of Rebecca) - the Island Princesses!


The Bride to Be in front of the world famous La Crosse, Wisconsin double blue bridge!

After drinking LaCrosse Lager and eating Rocky Rococo pizza, Nor went to Riverfest and Mom, the cousins, Lu and I went back to the Brookstone Hotel and swam in the pool. Quote of the day was when Laura said, "This rock smells like a ferret."

After that, we discussed who was going to drive what car to pick up the drunks at Riverfest for about 45 minutes and I finally went and got them w/ Lu.

Day 8 7/6/2007
"Pork tenderloin swimming in tomato sauce"


After a morning of rolling napkins:

Setting them up:

And playing with the pooch:

The rehearsal dinner went really fast. Biggest things were Father Tom (what an absolute ass) insulting the ring bearer and his family after Caleb couldn't make it down the isle ("He's too young. This won't work. He's not going to be here tomorrow.") But he also made Jean (Brian's aunt) who was doing the recitation change what she was going to read (after she had been practicing for days to learn the other one!) And, he wouldn't let her take the sheet of paper home. "If you have a 4th grade reading level you'll do fine." My aunt Linda called him "Father Nazi" and said that she was Aunt-Zilla and was going to take him on. Norah said "No don't ! He might not marry us!"

The food at the rehearsal dinner, given by Judy, Brian's mom, was so great. Pork tenderloin swimming in tomato sauce, potato salad, 2 kinds of jello salad - one with marshmallow, one with coconut, plus strawberry jello, bread, bars, chocolate brownies, chips and dip, beer and more. Everyone is here. Aunts, uncles, friends of the family, cousins. My aunt Donna (biker name "short round") and her husband Mike who drove in on their Harley's from Maryland.





The other family beagle, Copper.

We are not sure who is going to take flowers to the reception hall or pass out programs yet. We have to make boutonnières tonight. We put all the candles and napkins into the hall:


I still have to finish my speech.

And the wedding is tomorrow.

Oh and my cellphone just broke.

Day 9 07/07/2007!!!
"The Big Day!!!"

Nor and I started the day by doing stretches in the morning because we both felt the trauma of stress. We had a nice morning, but kept reminding ourselves that it wouldn't last.

Talking to Mom the morning of.

Aunts and cousins came to transfer the flowers. Linda tripped going up the stairs and Norah said it was a wakeup call for everyone to take it slow. The vases took off, the dresses were loaded into the car and Nor, Mary and I took off. We finished up at the reception hall - all very smooth making good time. Tif (Norah's personal attendant) was awesome. We and the other bride's maids - Lu, Stacy, Belinda and Charity - all went to get our hair and makeup done at the salon. Put some gas in Nor's car, ordered subs to be delivered to the chapel so we didn't all die. The girl who did my make-up was the same girl who was bartending at Longhorns on Norah's bachelorette party!


The most hilarious thing of the whole day (except for Father Nazi who deserves a whole post to himself - Norah said whenever she felt like crying "just think of Father Tom!") was the fact that our dressing room (blessingly air conditioned!) was a nurse's training room during the day, so there were tons of CPR mannequins all over the place covered in sheets! Our little flower girl got semi-freaked out by an IV bag that still apparently contained a rusty-colored liquid.

Mom came in and fixed Charity's dress strap (she had also hemmed Caleb's - the ring bearer- pants the night before) After we were all ready, the photographer staged a place where Brian could see Norah in her wedding dress for the first time. They had their "moment" then it was off for more photos. Father Nazi rattled his swords at Steve the photographer (who, after asking, "Is there anything I need to know," was told, "yes. Stay out of my way.")

Needless to say, the ceremony went off without a hitch. Caleb and Cali did great, Nor didn't cry too bad, nor did Dad. I got yelled at by Father Tom for moving Norah's train ("Leave it! Leave it!") in the middle of the ceremony, but it just gave Norah more hate to stave off the tears.

Honestly, do any of us look like we belive one word this guy says?

We rode two massive black diesel pickup trucks from the wedding to the reception. Larry did great as the MC, the little lotto tickets and year 2007 pennies on the table were a big hit (some of the winners ended up in the card box!), my Dad gave a great speech (what a guy!) and then there was a prayer. Grandma on Brian's side copped out (she's the one who has her own chainsaw named Suzy. She also had hurt her foot after an unfortunate event involving - according to a telephone note Brian wrote - slipping on an apple pile and some dog crap and crawling to the house). So Brian had to spring it on another aunt who pretty much said "Bless us oh Lord, bless this food, bless Norah and Brian Amen!"

Dad says his speach. The head table looks on.

The Groomsmen said some words which can't be repeated, there was some clinking of glasses, some kisses, and my speech. After dinner, which was delicious, we mingled and eventually made it out to the parking lot and Tony's pickup, the back of which was filled with his home brew! Then - Dancing!!

Aunt Denise, Dad, Aunt Jean, Mom, "Aunt-Zilla" (aka Linda), Uncle Ron, Nor

Before we knew it, it was time to clean up. Nor and Bri headed off to their honeymoon suite and Donnie and I had to take them their overnight bag which they had left behind. Then the day was over.

(oh yeah. Donnie caught the garder, and I caught the bride's bouquet.)

Day 10 07/08/2007
"Gift Opening"

We dragged our sleepy asses out of bed and to the present opening.


I ate some of Grandma's coffee cake and some fruit. Norah got some great stuff, including an afghan made by Grandma Marie, who had died earlier this year. She also got some recipes and some heirlooms in memory of Grandma Bartash.





I don't know why my mom is so excited about the milk.

Donnie and I went back to Nor's hoping to take a nap before heading over to the parent's place, but we were locked out and it was 90 degrees. We got a fan out of the garage though, and made the best of it.



Day 11 7/9/2007
"Honeymoon!"


Woke up and Norah and Brian were still packing for their honeymoon. Donnie and I fly out at 12:40 p.m., Lucy at 11:10 a.m. and Norah and Brian 10:45 a.m. We got to the airport at 10:15 and realize that Norah and Brian cannot check their bag (I was so proud of them for only having one.)
1.) They rang the bell at the check-in desk and no one came
2.) At the LaCrosse airport, you can't check bags at the gate
3.) The bag is too big to carry on (and includes liquids since they thought they'd be checking it!)
4.) Because they have a layover in Chicago, there's nothing they can do.

So, we get them on the flight with just carry-on and we FexEx the big bag to reach them at their hotel.
We find out later that they were stuck on the tarmac at Chicago (due to thunderstorms in Iowa) for 5 hours! Long enough for the plane to have to refuel. Funniest thing was that the lady at the FedEx place was the same lady who had to hear the sob story about the roses being delayed - and her son is getting married and having an even bigger wedding! To ship the Sampsonite bag, by the way, they had to dump out a box of FedEx boxes and use the one they came in.

Final thoughts:

Wedding Don'ts and Dos!

Don't -- fall up the stairs while carrying flowers
Don't -- hide your tattoo
Don't -- forget to eat and hydrate (h2o = friend)
Don't -- miss out on the chance to play hide and seek and go swimming with your younger relatives
Don't -- watch R rated movies with said younger relatives (unless they star Johnny Depp!)
Do -- let your cousin catch the bouquets
Do -- check into the airport 70 minutes early
Do -- have family, friends help with the decoration and flower displays
Do -- let Aunt-zilla at Father-nazi
Do -- send drunken text messages to your friend from the bathroom of a country western bar during the bachelorette party (it will freak out the bridesmaids and amuse the friend)